internetmessiah:

Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?…No you hang up first! Hello? 911?

(via smashbrosbravvl)

vodkacupcakes:

I wish more restaurants delivered other than pizza place because i’m lazy as fuck but i need something healthy.

(via shinxs)

mew-squared:

• In 2009, a man married a video game character
• In 2007, a woman married the Eiffel Tower
• In 2008, a man married a life-sized doll
• Also in 2009, a woman married a roller coaster
• And in 2005, a woman married a dolphin

please explain to me why people still say that gays shouldnt be able to be married to preserve the sanctity of marraige

(via free-punches)

quantumdae:

- let yourself cry

- drink plenty of water or you might get a headache and the cry will feel more like a punishment than a catharsis

- if you wipe away tears before they can fall down your cheeks maybe think about that.  your tears are not an inconvenience you do not need to minimize them.

- let yourself cry

-crying is a cousin to laughing, both are healthy and okay to do
-talk out loud to yourself if you cant/don’t want to talk to other people

(Source: fuckyeahmadpride, via internetkilledmylife)